Active listening is a skill that can be developed and improved with conscious effort and practice. It requires giving the other person your full attention and listening to understand rather than just reply. Active listening involves paying attention to the speaker’s body language and tone of voice, not just the words themselves.

When you actively listen, you refrain from distractions and make eye contact. You maintain an open and curious mindset, rather than judging or planning what you’re going to say next. You allow the speaker to finish their thoughts without interruption. You then paraphrase what the speaker said to confirm you understood them correctly. This also gives the speaker a chance to clarify or elaborate on any points.

Asking follow up questions is another key part of active listening. This shows you are engaged and interested in gaining a deeper understanding. However, don’t interrogate the speaker or make them feel like they are being cross-examined. Keep your questions open-ended and posed with a curious, non-judgmental attitude.

Providing acknowledgment and feedback also demonstrates you are actively listening. Give verbal and non-verbal cues that you are listening by nodding, making eye contact and saying things like “uh-huh,” “yes” and “please continue.” Provide concise feedback by paraphrasing what the speaker said. Share your understanding of the key highlights and main takeaways to confirm they feel fully heard and understood.

When you are the one speaking, notice if the other person is actively listening. Do they make eye contact, nod and provide occasional “mm-hmm’s”? Do they rephrase what you said to confirm their understanding? Do they ask follow up questions to gain clarification or a deeper understanding of your perspective? Use their level of active listening to determine how deeply to share your thoughts.

With regular practice, active listening can become second nature. It is a skill that will enhance all of your relationships and lead to improved understanding and connection between you and others. Make the effort to be fully present – it can make a world of difference.